bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She's the barista slut.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
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