if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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