It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
