Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
