Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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