Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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