she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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