So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
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i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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