East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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