That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize