I cut my penus on the lid.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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