you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
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West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize