Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
