sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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