I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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