i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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