I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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