i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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