I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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