had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
