I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
