it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
