I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
