I'm drive I can fine osifer
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
