Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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