a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
we're so committed to being not committed
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
