I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
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We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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