Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize