Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
