oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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