Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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