so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
