It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
