I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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