I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
