theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
