i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
