I wish my penis had an off switch
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
