we have officially lost it.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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