I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
