This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
