If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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