you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
