How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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