I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize