The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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