Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
