I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
