Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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