Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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