is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
