i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
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Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
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So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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