I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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