Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
