id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
