In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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