from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize