i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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