so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
