Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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