we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize