weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We're too hungover to prance.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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