Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
did i walk over a car last night?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
