We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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