Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize