After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
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Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
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Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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