Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
