a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
