We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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