last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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