i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
